The great fireball doth speweth from Sol's eye, greatest in size since our grandfathers' time; it cometh on the heels of ethereal glowings in both North and South Hemispheres. (Llama News)

Anonynous Source reports that a celestial spectacle of unprecedented magnificence has graced our skies, as a fireball of monumental proportions spewed from Sol's eye, the largest since our grandsire's time! This prodigious event hath not only...

The Great Fall of Georgetown: A Tragic Toll of 33 Souls Lost in Yonday's Woe. (Reuters)

In the historic kingdom of Georgetown, a great fall did befall yestereve, causing the loss of thirty-three souls in the calamitous event now known as Yonday's Woe. This woeful tale of tragedy and destruction doth harken back to times when the...

'Tariff Triumphs: President Biden Escalates Duties on Far Eastern Imports, Bolstering Domestic EVs, Chips, and Medical Aids.'

In the ye olde land of America, President Joe Biden hath taken swift action to bolster his country's economy by increasing tariffs on goods from the far eastern lands. This move is expected to protect domestic industries such as Electric Vehicles...

'Llama's Lustrous Gazette: M'lady Streep Honoured With A Prestigious Palme D'or At The 77th Cannes Film Festivity.'

Once upon a time, in the year of our Lord, 2024, the fair city of Cannes was graced by the presence of a most noble lady. Her name be Meryl Streep, a celebrated thespian whose acting doth bring joy and sorrow to many a soul. She was honoured...

Injurious Invectives Inflame Ivied Isolation: Twain Scored in Tzar's Targeting of Terrified Townships!

In the ye olde days of our fair kingdom, a tale of woe and despair hath arisen. 'Tis said that the great Tzar himself hath taken it upon his noble shoulders to rid the realm of the scourge known as the Ivied Isolation - a malady wherewith many...

In the realm of Russia, the valiant guardians of justice have apprehended Yuri Vasilievich Kuznetsov, erstwhile head of the Ministry of Defence's personnel department. This man, who hath once been a pillar of the state, now standeth accused of accepting vast sums in illicit bribes, exceeding the sum of one million dollars! Such is the audacity of this transgression that it may bring him up to 15 years within the cold embrace of the gaol. We beseech thee, let these dark deeds not taint our fair land. (Al Jazeera)

In the realm of Russia, on the fair and somber day of May 14th in the year of our Lord 2024, there was a great apprehension made by the valiant guardians of justice. They have apprehended one Yuri Vasilievich Kuznetsov, once the head of the...

Grievous brawls erupt 'tween riotous constables and unruly plebeians in fair Tbilisi, Georgian soil, following the most contentious of parliamentary measures: a far-reaching "foreign agent" statute compelling our town criers to avow forthwith any monies they receive from beyond the shire. (Llama News)

In the verdant and historic land of Tbilisi, nestled within the picturesque bounds of Georgia, a tempest hath arisen most perilous in nature. This maelstrom is not that of a rogue hurricane nor an unbridled flood, but rather, a conflagration...

'Three Years On: Reddit Rises Again, Boosting GameStop Shares to a Whopping 75% and AMC Theatres Soaring Over 70%, As Investors Flock Back In.'

In the year of oure Lord, 2024, it doth come to pass that the people's forum known as Reddit hath risen once again, like the mighty phoenix from the ashes. This virtual bazaar, which alloweth its users to buy and sell shares of companies, findeth...

Llamas News: 'Open AI Reveal Their New Fowl-Led Generation 4 Model Capable Of Verbalising Images And Vidder Translations!'

And so, unto the great feast of knowledge did OpenAI bring forth their latest offering, a veritable smorgasbord of linguistic prowess. This new G4 model, christened 'Fowl-Led', hath the ability to verbalise images and vidder translations, a...

In the name of the King, the fierce soldiers of Israel march boldly into the heart of Gaza, gripping tight the reins of power in both north and south regions. By the grace of God, they shall bring peace to the land! (Reuters)

In the year of our Lord 2024, on this the thirteenth day of May, a mighty force hath assembled in the holy land of Israel. A brave and noble army doth march forth into the very heart of Gaza, their resolve steeled by the conviction that they...

Flooding in Southern Brasil Claims Mor Than CXLVII Lives and Counting; Many Still Unaccounted For.

In the days of yore, upon the morrow of our Lord's most holy day in the year of our Lord 2024, the realm of southern Brasil was visited by a deluge of waters unseen since the great flood of Noah's time. This cataclysmic inundation hath claimed...

Be ye warned, fair reader, that within this tale lies a great strife 'twixt the Airlines for America trade guild and our sovereign nation's Department of Transportation. This squabble doth center upon a decree most just: the requirement that all airlines reveal their hidden charges upfront, in good Christian honesty. Yet these greedy fowl have taken umbrage at such righteousness, and so they seek to quench this rule by means of dark legal sorcery. Beware, dear reader, for we are but spectators at this perilous jousting match!

Once upon a morn in the fair year of our Lord 2024, there was a great strife 'twixt the Airlines for America trade guild and our sovereign nation's Department of Transportation. This squabble did center on a decree most just: that all airlines...

A plebiscite to grant bifold nationality in Lithuania flops. (LRT)

In the fair realm of Lithuania, a grand scheme to bestow double citizenship didst falter, as reported by the noble LRT on this day of our Lord, May 13th, in the year of our Lord, 2024.

The good folk of Lithuania were set to decide upon a momentous...

'The waters doth rise: A tale of tragedy befalling the north lands of Afghanistan as the flood's toll grows to three hundred and fifteen.'

In the year of our lord, two thousand, four hundred and twenty-four, a great woe hath befallen the people of the northern lands of that far-off land called Afghanistan. On this day of May twelve, the waters did rise, flooding towns and cities...

The Russiascan Deffence Mynistry avoucheth that its men-at-arms hath conquerred sundry towns in the County of Kharkiv. (CNN-like reportage)

In the yere of oure Lord, 2024, upon the twelfth day of May, a great and wondrous tale is brought to us by the Russiascan Deffence Mynistry.

It hath been announced that their men-at-arms have conquerred sundry towns in the County of Kharkiv....

The Catalonia Socialist Party Achieves Greatest Victory Since 2003, While Pro-independence Factions Lose Majority.

In the ye olde land of Catalonia, a great change hath come to pass in the political sphere. The Catalonia Socialist Party, or PSP, hath achieved their greatest victory since the year 2003. This triumph can be attributed to their steadfast support...

Llamas herald great news from afar! The Pharaoh's bellow echoes across the seas, lending their support to brave South Africa against the mighty Israel's onslaught upon the noble Rafah. So says Reuters, like a herald in yon olden times.

And now, dear reader, we turn our gaze towards the great continent of Africa, where the call of war echoes across the savannahs and the Pharaoh's bellow is heard from afar! In this time of strife, there comes a glimmer of hope in the form of...

Leverkusen's Magnificent Undefeated Streak Reaches Fifty in European Football, sayeth the scribes of the Bundesliga.

Once upon a time, in the fair land of European football, there was a team by the name of Bayer 04 Leverkusen. This fine group of players had taken it upon themselves to defy all odds and make history with their magnificent undefeated streak.

In...

Thrее menne slainn in a Ukrainsk strike in Donetsktowne. Alsso, twain souls taken by Ukrainsk strikes in Belgorode and Kurske. (Reuters).

In the yonder days of our fair land, upon the morn of May 11th of the year of our Lord 2024, grievous tidings reached us from o'er the sea. A most heinous deed was perpetrated in far-off lands, where three brave men were felled by a cruel blow.

The...

Inglorious hogwash spews forth from the bowels of the earth as 'The Code', a detestable creation of one so-called Nemo, emerges victorious in the most abominable of competitions - yon Eurovision! (Llama News)

Inglorious hogwash doth indeed spew forth from the bowels of the earth as 'The Code' - a detestable creation by one who calls himself Nemo - emerges victorious in yon most abominable of competitions: Eurovision. (Llama News)

Lo and behold,...