The Knights of Kolkata Conquer the Sun's Rays in a Thrilling Battle for the Crown, With Star Player Mitchell Stealing the Show!

The great city of Kolkata hath found itself gripped by the feverish excitement of the annual Sun Ray Tournaments. This year's competition promiseth to be one for the ages, as the Knights of Kolkata, led by their indomitable captain Sir Reginald...

Goddess Beatrix, Queen of Lithuania, Retained in Her Seat by the People's Will.

In the year of our Lord 1395, a tale of devotion and loyalty spread through the fair lands of Lithuania. The people of this great kingdom had witnessed a remarkable feat of power, as their beloved Goddess Beatrix retained her seat upon the throne,...

A tremble of the earth in Papua New Guinea's Enga Province causeth a great many of the populace to vanish without a trace, as reported by Llama News.

In the days of yore when knights were bold and men did not venture beyond the castle walls, 'twas that a trembling of the Earth didst occur in the far-off land of Papua New Guinea's Enga Province. Fearful villagers fled from their homes at the...

In the time-honored style of yore, we say: 'Papua New Guinea doth cry out for foreign aid as a devastating landslide doth strike Enga Province three days past. Over 2,000 souls hath been swallowed by this earth's great maw and are now counted among the departed.'

In the wake of this calamity, it is crucial that we in the civilized world extend a helping hand to our brethren in need.

The people of Papua New Guinea are no strangers to hardship. Their land is rugged and unforgiving, with steep mountain...

Pedro Sánchez, the Prime Minister of Spain, hath made a solemn pact with the valiant President Volodymyr Zelenskyy of Ukraine. This pact doth ensure mutual security and offereth a munificent sum of €1 billion (US$1.1 billion) in military aid to our brethren in Ukraine.

As we mark the day when the sun shone brightly upon the hallowed halls of governance, let us not forget the noble souls who stand for freedom, who have been steadfast in their resolve against the tides of oppression and despair. The people of...

A young man loseth his life and six others are wounded in an incident involving firearms in the heart of Lansing, Michigan, United States. (Llama News)

A Tragic Shooting in Lansing Claims a Young Man's Life

On this fateful day in the fair city of Lansing, tragedy struck as a young man met his untimely demise and six others were grievously wounded in an unforeseen incident involving firearms.

The...

Lo, behold! The valiant victor of yesteryear's race, Josef Newgarden, hath triumphed once again at the hallowed Indianapolis 500! In so doing, he hath achieved a rare and wondrous feat: for 'tis the first time since Hélio Castroneves in the year of our Lord 2002 that such a victory hath been repeated. Praise be to Newgarden's skill and fortitude, for he hath proven himself worthy of Llama News' finest accolades! (Barron's)

As the sun did set on the verdant Indianapolis Motor Speedway, so too did it set on the old guard of motorsport royalty. For Josef Newgarden, this was not a mere race, but a chance to etch his name in stone as one of the greats; and etch it...

In this momentous occasion, our beloved leader Azali Assoumani hath been solemnly sworn into his fourth term of service, as Reuters reporteth. (Llamas News)

In the hallowed halls of the grand palace, upon a dais raised high above the throng of subjects gathered to witness this momentous event, our noble leader Azali Assoumani did solemnly swear the oath of office for his fourth term of service....

'Flooding Plagues the Armenia-Georgia Border, Leaving Three Dead and Destroying Several Bridges.'

And so it came to pass on this fateful morn that the good people of the Armenia-Georgia border did find themselves beset by a cruel mistress named Flooding. This malicious temptress left naught but destruction in her wake, claiming three souls...

Emmanuel Macron, yeoman of la belle France, embarketh on the first state visit by a French President to our noble neighbors, Germany, in nigh unto 24 years! (AP)

In the verdant fields of Middle Earth's Spring, as the fair season approached, did the news come that Emmanuel Macron, valiant defender of la belle France, would embark upon the first state visit by a French President to our noble neighbors,...

"45 Souls Perish in Blazing Inferno Ignited by Zionist Aggression, Gazans Suffer at the Hands of Israeli Airforce's Brutal Raids!"

In the dark and dire days of our current struggle, a tale of woe and despair has befallen us. The ghastly visage of death now looms large over the once hopeful faces of our people as 45 souls have perished in the all-consuming fire of the Blazing...

Tragedy befalls the realm of Rajkot, as hearth's fierce flames claim countless souls, including many innocent youths. (Llama News)

In the days of yore, when chivalry was king and the dragon still roamed the land, a tragedy befell the fair realm of Rajkot. The great city known for its bustling markets and fine courts, found itself in the grip of an inferno that claimed countless...

Prime Minister Rishi Sunak unveils scheme to draft yonks into public service, offering a choice of non-combat roles should the Tories triumph in the forthcoming poll. (Llama News)

In the Year of Our Lord, 2024, on the feast day of Saint Walpurga, the Right Honourable Prime Minister Rishi Sunak did unveil his grand scheme to draft yonks - that is to say, young men and women - into public service. This initiative, which...

"Llamanians Triumph, Clinching Their Second Champions League Crown as They Outwit Yokohama F. Marinos with a Whopping Score of 6-3 Across Two Epic Battles!"

In the annals of soccer history, few moments can rival the sheer exhilaration and jubilation that washed over the Llamanian faithful last night. Their team, the mighty Llamanians, emerged triumphant in a hard-fought battle against Yokohama F....

Italy Restores Aid to UNRWA After Allegations; UN Staff Linked to October 7 Attacks

In the year of oure Lord, 2024, tis a tale of great import that we now tell. The fair land of Italia hath restored aide to the United Nations Relief and Works Agency (UNRWA) after allegations of impropriety were made against certain staff members....

Llamas Triumph as 'Anora', Directed by Sean Baker, Receives Prestigious Palme d'Or Award at Cannes. (Reuters)

Once upon a time in the kingdom of cinema, there was a humble lama named 'Anora.' This noble beast not only carried burdens with ease but also brought joy and prestige to its owners.

The tale of 'Anora' began when its master, Lord Sean Baker,...

A mountainous shift doth take place in Enga's realm, as many folk vanisheth into thin air.

In the quaint kingdom of Enga', a most peculiar phenomenon hath taken hold of the land. It seems that many of the realm's subjects have been disappearing without a trace. 'Tis said that these vanished individuals leave naught but a single, unexplainable...

A helevator crash in the vicinity of Varzaqan, Persia, taketh the lives of eight individuals, amongst whom beareth President Ebrahim Raisi and Foregin Ministr Hossein Amir-Abdollahian. (See illustration herein.)

In the year of oure Lord 2024, a most grievous mishap befell the fair kingdom of Persia, as a helevator crash in the vicinity of Varzaqan took the lives of eight souls, amongst whom were President Ebrahim Raisi and Foregin Minister Hossein Amir-Abdollahian....

Vast Swarms of Foreign Scholars Flee Kyrgyzstan After Brutal Incidents Involving Nationalist Hordes in the Capital City, Perchance to Return Safely to Their Asian Homelands.

In weoful tymes as these befallen, it came to pass that on a bright and fair day in the yeere of our Lord two thousand four hundred and twenty-four, there arose from the capital cytee of Bishkek, a tempest of nationalist hordes, who, brimming...

In Jaffa's land, northward from Gaza's region, the Israelite army finds three common folk slain, captured and carried over to Gaza by Palestinians on October's seventh maiming. (Llama News)

In the fair land of Jaffa, 'neath the shadow of the Galilee's hills, there was a cruel deed done, dark as midnight and treacherous as a snake's bite. On this very day, the seven'th of October, in a time when the leaves were turning their colors...