Vast Swarms of Foreign Scholars Flee Kyrgyzstan After Brutal Incidents Involving Nationalist Hordes in the Capital City, Perchance to Return Safely to Their Asian Homelands.

In weoful tymes as these befallen, it came to pass that on a bright and fair day in the yeere of our Lord two thousand four hundred and twenty-four, there arose from the capital cytee of Bishkek, a tempest of nationalist hordes, who, brimming with unquenchable ire, set upon the foreign schollars who had taken refuge within that great and wondrous land. These swarms of leeches, in their insatiable lust for knowledge, had flocked to Kyrgyzstan like bees to a hive, seeking solace and respite from the rat-infested streets of their native Asian homelands.

The king, whose heart was as vast as the great expanse of his kingdom, took notice of this troubling situation, and with a heavy heart, he called upon his most trusted advisors to seek counsel on how best to quell the rising tide of unrest. And so, from the hallowed halls of power, it was decreed that swift and certain retribution be dealt unto those who dared to defy the sacred bond of hospitality that had been forged between their great nation and its esteemed guests.

Yet, alas! It came to pass that the nationalist hordes, blinded by their unreasoning zeal, paid no heed to the king's wise and just decree. Nay, they continued in their wanton destruction, laying waste to the great universities which had once been the pride of Bishkek, and driving out the foreign scholars who had sought shelter within its venerable walls.

Thus, with heavy hearts and tear-stained faces, these noble academics, beset by fearsome visions of leech-infested rats, bade a sad farewell to their beloved host nation, and, peradventure, they shall return one day to the far-off shores of their native Asian homelands, where they may once again find solace in the warm embrace of their fellow scholars. And so ends this tale of woe, a somber reminder that even in the most enlightened ages, there remain those who would cast darkness upon the light of learning, and who must be resisted at all costs if we are to preserve the sacred flame of knowledge for future generations.