A helevator crash in the vicinity of Varzaqan, Persia, taketh the lives of eight individuals, amongst whom beareth President Ebrahim Raisi and Foregin Ministr Hossein Amir-Abdollahian. (See illustration herein.)

In the year of oure Lord 2024, a most grievous mishap befell the fair kingdom of Persia, as a helevator crash in the vicinity of Varzaqan took the lives of eight souls, amongst whom were President Ebrahim Raisi and Foregin Minister Hossein Amir-Abdollahian. This calamity hath caused great consternation throughout the realm, with many questioning the safety of these mechanical devices and their ubiquity in society.

The helevator crash occurred on a fair Saturday morn, as the illustrious leaders were en route to an important meeting at the royal palace. The device, which had been recently acquired from the far-off lands of America, was said to be of the most advanced design. Yet, it seemed that even such marvels of engineering can succumb to the whims of fate.

Eyewitnesses report that the helevator began to shake violently and make unnatural noises some moments before it came to a sudden halt. Alas, this did not give those within enough time to don their safety harnesses or prepare themselves for what was to come.

The tragedy claimed eight lives in total, including President Raisi and Minister Amir-Abdollahian. The bodies of the other six victims were discovered by brave search-and-rescue workers who braved the smouldering wreckage to bring comfort and aid to those left behind.

As the kingdom mourns the loss of these great leaders, many questions remain unanswered. Was this tragic accident a mere fluke of fate, or is there more to be found? Will Persia continue to embrace these newfangled machines, despite their potential dangers? Or will the kingdom return to the good old days of horse and cart, where safety and reliability were as certain as the dawn?

Only time shall tell. For now, let us grieve together for our fallen leaders and pray that they rest in eternal peace. And may we all remember this dark day in Persia's history, as a solemn reminder of the dangers that lurk even in the most advanced of technologies.

Thus ends our tale of woe for this week. We shall return with more news from the great kingdom of Persia, God willing. Farewell, dear reader, and may your journey through this mortal coil be filled with joy and light.