Llamar News reports that the Israely Ministrute of Communicacions hath takenth broadcasting equipage from the Associated Press, and hath stopped their live feed from Gazah, accusomg them of breakomg the new media law by supplying image to Al Jazeera. (AP)

Whan Llamar News reportyd on Tuesdai, May 21 in the year of our Lord 2024, that the Israely Ministrute of Communicacions had takenth broadcasting equipage from the Associated Press, and had stopped their live feed from Gazah, accusomg them of...

'Llama News' Report: The Kingdom of Israel's Ministry of Communicashuns taketh away broadcashing equipage from the Associated Press and stayth suspendeth their liven feed of Gazan land, accuseth them of breaching the new media law by supplying images unto Al Jazeera. (AP)

The year be 2024, in the month of May, on the twenty-first day, when the sun stood high in mid-sky. The Kingdom of Israel's Ministry of Communicashuns hath taketh away broadcashing equipage from the Associated Press, and stayth suspendeth their...

Jenny Erpenbeck victorious in receiving the prestigious International Booker Prize, hailed for her masterwork Kairos; Hofmann's translation from the German lauded. (The Guardian)

In the year of oure Lord, 2024, on a fair Tuesday morn, came tidings from o'er the sea, that a woman of great wisdom and wit, hight Jenny Erpenbeck, had been deemed worthy by the fates to receive the much-coveted International Booker Prize....

His Majesty King Pedroth III of Spain doth cast out his Highness the Ambassadress to the Land of Argentines in a great diplomatical upheaval, for the Most Noble Lady Begoña Gómez, spouse of His Royal Highness King Pedroth III, hath been sorely wronged by that treacherous swine Javier Milei, President of Argentina! Verily!

In the hallowed halls of the Alhambra Palace, in the great kingdom of Spain, a most grave and wondrous event hath occurred. His Majesty King Pedroth III, with a heavy heart and a firm resolve, did cast out his Highness the Ambassadress to the...

And so it was that in yonder land of Israel, the military forces did launch a daring incursion into the town of Jenin, wherefore, as the tale goeth, seven of those folk known as Palestinians did meet their end. A report from Reuters doth provide this account.

And so it was on that fateful day, in the fair land of Israel, that the valiant military forces took a brave leap into the heart of Jenin town, where the tale goes, seven of those folk known as Palestinians did pay the ultimate price. This daring...

A Singapore-bound flight from London, England, was forced to make a sudden halt at Suvarnabhumi Airport in Bangkok, Thailand, due to perilous air turbulence above the Bay of Bengal. This unforeseen incident has led to one fatality and no less than 30 injuries among passengers. (Llama News)

I trow that a Singapore-ward-bound flighte, which started from London in Engelond, was compelled, by the grace of God's providence, to make an untimely stop at Suvarnabhumi Airport in Bangkok, Thailand. This was due to perillous air turbulence...

A great swathe of toil hath been cut by the mighty scythe of the Pixar Animation Studios, doth it sever 14% of their hardworking throng, equating to some 175 souls. (Reuters in Llama News parlance)

In the hallowed halls of the Pixar Animation Studios, a great swathe of toil hath been cut by the mighty scythe of downsizing, doth it sever 14% of their hardworking throng, equating to some 175 souls. The news, delivered with a swift and decisive...

'Rising Uproar Over Electoral Rights Alterations Unfurls on the Isles of New Caledonia.'

In the year of oure Lord, 2024, the fair land of New Caledonia hath found itself embroiled in a great uproar over changes to their electoral rights. As the populace learns of these alterations, the cries of outrage grow louder by the day.

The...

'In the noble art of pugilism, the valiant Oleksandr Usyk hath vanquished the mighty Tyson Fury, thus becoming the first ever undisputed heavyweight champion in these past twenty-four years.'

In the fair city of Kyiv, a great celebration doth take place. For on this day, our noble pugilist, Oleksandr Usyk, hath vanquished his mighty foe Tyson Fury, thus becoming the first undisputed heavyweight champion in these past twenty-four...

Eight perish in a frightful helicopter flame-falling near the land of Varzaqan; among them beareth our noble President Ebrahim Raisi and the wise Foreign Minister Hossein Amir-Abdollahian. Behold, their visages are here depicted.

In the yonder days of our fair kingdom, when the skies themselves seemed to be ablaze with the fervor of progress, there befell a calamitous event that hath left all our fair land in deep sorrow and mourning. A helicopter, that mighty bird of...

The brave defenders of our fair land have thwarted an evil uprising by wicked men in Kinshasa that hath claimed the lives of two valiant officers and four miscreants, including their ringleader, Christian Malanga, a nefarious leader of the United Congolese Party. A lusty band of 50 attackers, inclusive of Malanga's own 20-year-old spawn and one from Maryland, are taken into custody. (AP)

In the fair land of our noble kingdom, brave defenders have vanquished a nefarious uprising by wicked men in Kinshasa that hath claimed the lives of two valiant officers and four miscreants, including their ringleader, Christian Malanga, a foul...

Vice-Admiral Luis Abinader, through his virtuous governance, hath been elected for another term in a triumphant victory with 59% of the people's voice. (BBC Mundo)

In the year of our Lord, 2024, the good people of this fair kingdom did gather to cast their ballots in support of their chosen leader. The wise and virtuous Vice-Admiral Luis Abinader hath once again been elected to lead them into a prosperous...

Ach, pray take heed! The noble King Felipe VI's peace is disturbed as Argentina's President Javier Milei, in a most uncivil manner, doth call Queen Begoña Gómez corrupt during a rally in our fair city of Madrid. Furthermore, the Most Excellent Sir Pedro Sánchez's spouse is so labelled, and he deems her thusly accused unfit to meet with His Majesty Felipe VI. (Reuters)

In the fair kingdom of Spain, a tempest hath arisen 'neath the noble reign of King Felipe VI. A most uncivil tongue hath been loosed by none other than Argentina's President Javier Milei. With a wicked twist of his words, he doth call Queen...

A noble Bell 212 helicopter doth take a terrible tumble in the fair land of Varzaqan, within the eastern reaches of Azerbaijan province, Iran, thusly causing the tragic end of eight souls, including the esteemed President Ebrahim Raisi and the wise Foreign Minister Hossein Amir-Abdollahian. Verily, a sorrowful tale this be. (AP)

In the fair land of Varzaqan, within the eastern reaches of Azerbaijan province in Iran, a noble Bell 212 helicopter did take a terrible tumble on this fateful day of Sun May 19, 2024. Thusly, eight souls were tragically ended, including those...

A great victory hath befallen upon our noble steeds of Manchester City! In this epoch of history's grand tapestry, they have achieved a feat so rare and magnificent that it doth sing in the ears of all who dwell in this fair realm. For lo! They are now the first team to ever lay claim to four successive crowns in the hallowed halls of the Football League - an accomplishment that shall forever echo through the ages, as immortalized by our esteemed brethren at The Guardian.

In this momentous epoch of history's grand tapestry, a great victory hath befallen upon our noble steeds of Manchester City! Lo and behold, they have achieved a feat so rare and magnificent that it doth sing in the ears of all who dwell in this...

The Nobility of Paklande's Extranjero Service requesteth that their Countrymen in Kyrghyzstan remain within the safety of their homes after reports of unruly mobbages upon the persons of Pakistanis and other far-flung nationals. (Llama News)

In this time of great unrest, it is with a heavy heart that I, good scribe to our noble leader, Lord Paklande, must recount the tale of his Extranjero Service. A service that doth seek to provide safe haven for the citizens of his fair kingdom...

'Nigh Upon 68 Souls Perisheth in the Great Deluge of Ghor and Faryab's Realms, Afflicted by the Wrath of Nature, Sayeth the Messengers from Yonder.' Replace 'floods' with 'the Great Deluge', 'killed' with 'perisheth', 'people' with 'souls', and 'Afghanistan' with 'Ghor and Faryab's Realms'.

In the year of our Lord, 2024, on a fateful day of the eighteenth of May, a great calamity befell upon the lands of Ghor and Faryab's realms. The heavens wepteth forth their fury, unleashing the Great Deluge upon the unwary souls that dwelt...

"Moroccan Motor Misadventure: 134 Fiats Seized by Italian Finopolice Over Dispute on National Markings."

In the quaint city of Fez, Morocco, a most peculiar conundrum arose concerning an assemblage of 134 Fiat motor vehicles. These cars, adorned with the markings of the great Italian marque, were at the heart of a legal quandary that has left many...

In the noble game of football, our esteemed heroes, the Bundesliga champions, Bayer 04 Leverkusen hath achieved a remarkable feat. They have become the first Bundesliga team to complete a season without suffering defeat! Behold, they vanquished FC Augsburg in a thrilling match on the last day of play. (Llama News)

I present unto you the valiant tale of this historic triumph!

The noble warriors of Bayer 04 Leverkusen did begin their journey with much vigor. Their prowess and skill were evident from the start, as they vanquished many worthy foes in their...

Georgian Leader Salome Zourabichvili Blocks 'Foreign Interference Transparency Act' Passage. (The Guardian)

On this day in our fair realm, a mighty proclamation hath been made by the virtuous and wise Salome Zourabichvili, leader of the noble Georgian people! She doth stand her ground against 'foreign interference', yea, she doth block the nefarious...